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Where have I been? Where are you? Has Tranio stolen your clothes, master? Or have you stolen his? Have you both stolen each other’s? Please, what’s going on?
Sirrah, come hither: ’tis no time to jest,
And therefore frame your manners to the time.
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
185 Puts my apparel and my countenance on,
And I for my escape have put on his;
For in a quarrel since I came ashore
I killed a man and fear I was descried.
Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,
190 While I make way from hence to save my life.
You understand me?
Come here, boy. It’s no time for jokes: sober up. Tranio and I have traded clothes to save my life. I killed a man in a fight since we came ashore, and I’m worried someone saw me. While I make my escape, I need you to wait on Tranio as though he were me. Understand?
Aye, sir. (aside) Ne'er a whit.
Of course, sir. (to the audience) Not a word.
And not a jot of “Tranio” in your mouth.
Tranio is changed into Lucentio.
And you’re not to utter a syllable of Tranio’s name. “Tranio” is now “Lucentio.”
The better for him. Would I were so too.
Lucky for him. Wish I could say the same.
195 So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,
That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.
But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master’s, I advise
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of
When I am alone, why then I am Tranio;
But in all places else, your master Lucentio.
I’d second your wish if it automatically meant that Lucentio could have Baptista’s youngest daughter. This is for your master’s sake, not mine. So watch your step when there are other people around. When we’re by ourselves you can call me “Tranio.” Everywhere else, address me as your master Lucentio
Tranio, let’s go. One thing more rests, that thyself execute, to make
one among these wooers. If thou ask me why, sufficeth my
reasons are both good and weighty.
Tranio, let’s go. One last thing, and this is up to you. You’ll have to woo Bianca like the rest. Don’t ask why. Just trust me—I know what I’m doing.
The presenters above speak
The presenters up in the balcony speak.
My lord, you nod. You do not mind the play.
(to SLY) My lord, you’re falling asleep. You’re not paying attention to the play.
205 Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely. Comes there
any more of it?
No, no. I am. Really. Very impressive. Is there any more, or is that it?
My lord, ’tis but begun.
(speaking as SLY's wife) My lord, we’ve only just got started.
'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady. Would
And what an excellent piece of work it is, too, madam lady! I wish it were over.
They sit and mark
They sit and watch
Act 1, Scene 2
Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO
PETRUCHIO enters with his servant GRUMIO.
Verona, for a while I take my leave,
To see my friends in Padua, but of all
My best belovèd and approvèd friend,
Hortensio. And I trow this is his house.
5 Here, sirrah Grumio. Knock, I say.
Farewell, Verona! I’m off to visit my friends in Padua—particularly my best friend Hortensio. And I think this is his house. Here, you there, Grumio. Knock.
Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man has
rebused your Worship?
Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Has anyone offended your Worship?
Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
Moron! I’m telling you to make a fist and pound.
Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock
you here, sir?
Really, sir, I hardly think it would be appropriate for me to pound you.
Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
10 And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.
Moron, here we are at the gate. Now put your fists to work, or I’ll put mine to work on your head!
My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,
And then I know after who comes by the worst.
My master is being difficult. If I do as he asks I think I know which one of us will be sorrier—and it’s not going to be him!
Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it.
15 I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
What are you standing there for! If you won’t knock, I’ll ring—and you’ll be singing along in falsetto!
He wrings him by the ears
He grabs him by the ears.
Help, mistress, help! My master is mad.
(to the unseen mistress or master of the house) Help, mistress, help! My master has gone mad.
Now knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.
Next time maybe you’ll knock when I tell you, punk kid!
How now, what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio and my
good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?
Say, what’s the trouble? If it isn’t my old friend Grumio—and my dear friend Petruchio! How’s everyone in Verona?
Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
20 Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say.
Hortensio, have you come to break up the fight? Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, if I may say so.
Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio
Petruchio.—Rise, Grumio, rise. We will compound this quarrel.
Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio! Get up, Grumio. We’ll settle this quarrel.
Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin. If this be not a
lawful case for me to leave his service—look you, sir:
25 he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it
fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught
I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out?
Whom, would to God, I had well knocked at first,
Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
I don’t care what he told you in Latin. If this isn’t legal justification for me to leave his service, I don’t know what is. He tells me to knock him, pound him, and put my fists to work on him. Well, I ask you, was that any way for a servant to behave toward his master— especially when he’s clearly a bit crazy. I wish I had hit him. I think I’d feel a lot better.
A senseless villain, good Hortensio.
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
And could not get him for my heart to do it.
He’s a worthless dog, Hortensio. I told him to knock at your gate and for the life of me could not get him to do it.
Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain:
“Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and
knock me soundly”? And come you now with “knocking at
Knock at the gate? Oh, for Pete’s sake! Didn’t you clearly say “Knock,” “pound,” and “put your fists to work”? Now you say it was “Knock at the gate”?
30 Sirrah, begone or talk not, I advise you.
Grumio, either leave or shut up. I’m warning you.
Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio’s pledge.
Why, this' a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
35 Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
Easy, Petruchio. I’ll vouch for Grumio. It’s terrible—you two fighting! Faithful, funny old Grumio! You guys go way back! Now, my dear friend, what lucky wind blows you in from Verona?
Such wind as scatters young men through the world
To seek their fortunes farther than at home,
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
40 Antonio, my father, is deceased,
And I have thrust myself into this maze,
Happily to wive and thrive as best I may.
Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
The wind that scatters young men throughout the world, encouraging them to seek their fortunes some place other than home, where there’s little to be found in the way of experience. But to be brief, Hortensio, the situation is that my father, Antonio, is dead, and I have set off into this crazy world to see if I can marry well and make a good life for myself. I have money in my purse and property at home, so I’m off to see the world.
45 Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
And wish thee to a shrewd, ill-favored wife?
Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel;
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,
And very rich. But thou'rt too much my friend,
50 And I’ll not wish thee to her.
Petruchio, shall I be frank? I know where you can find a shrewish and unpleasant wife. I doubt you’d thank me in the end, but she’s rich, all right, very rich. But you’re too good a friend for me to wish her on you.
Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice. And therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
55 Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,
As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse,
She moves me not, or not removes at least
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
60 As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Hortensio, good friends like us can get by on a few words. If you can find a woman rich enough for me—because money is all I look for in a wife—let her be as ugly as Flotentius’s love, as old as the Sibyl, and as bad-tempered as Xanthippe. It wouldn’t matter one way or the other. I’ve come here in search of a rich wife. If I find a rich wife in Padua, I’ll have found a good wife in Padua.
(to HORTENSIO) Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is.
Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an
aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though
she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why,
nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
(to HORTENSIO) He’s certainly frank, isn’t he, sir? Give him enough money and he’ll be happy with a puppet, a paper doll, or a diseased old hag without a tooth in her head. If she’s got money, what does it matter?
Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in,
65 I will continue that I broached in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
70 Is that she is intolerable curst,
And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
Petruchio, since the conversation’s gone this far, I may as well carry on with what I mentioned purely as a joke. I can help you find a wife who’s rich, young, beautiful, and reared in a manner fit for a gentlewoman. Her only flaw—and it’s a big one—is that she’s unbearable, a total witch, so much so that I wouldn’t think of marrying her myself, not even if I were in a worse fix than I am, not for a whole goldmine.
Hortensio, peace. Thou know’st not gold’s effect.
75 Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough;
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
Hush, Hortensio. You don’t know what money can buy. Tell me her father’s name—that’s all I need. I will go after her even if her scolding is as deafening as thunder in an autumn rainstorm.
Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman.
80 Her name is Katherina Minola,
Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.