Sly i’ll pheeze you, in faith




НазваниеSly i’ll pheeze you, in faith
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BIONDELLO

Where have I been? Where are you? Has Tranio stolen your clothes, master? Or have you stolen his? Have you both stolen each other’s? Please, what’s going on?

LUCENTIO

Sirrah, come hither: ’tis no time to jest,

And therefore frame your manners to the time.

Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,

185 Puts my apparel and my countenance on,

And I for my escape have put on his;

For in a quarrel since I came ashore

I killed a man and fear I was descried.

Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,

190 While I make way from hence to save my life.

You understand me?

LUCENTIO

Come here, boy. It’s no time for jokes: sober up. Tranio and I have traded clothes to save my life. I killed a man in a fight since we came ashore, and I’m worried someone saw me. While I make my escape, I need you to wait on Tranio as though he were me. Understand?

BIONDELLO

Aye, sir. (aside) Ne'er a whit.

BIONDELLO

Of course, sir. (to the audience) Not a word.

LUCENTIO

And not a jot of “Tranio” in your mouth.

Tranio is changed into Lucentio.

LUCENTIO

And you’re not to utter a syllable of Tranio’s name. “Tranio” is now “Lucentio.”

BIONDELLO

The better for him. Would I were so too.

BIONDELLO

Lucky for him. Wish I could say the same.

TRANIO

195 So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,

That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.

But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master’s, I advise

You use your manners discreetly in all kind of

200 companies.

When I am alone, why then I am Tranio;

But in all places else, your master Lucentio.

TRANIO

I’d second your wish if it automatically meant that Lucentio could have Baptista’s youngest daughter. This is for your master’s sake, not mine. So watch your step when there are other people around. When we’re by ourselves you can call me “Tranio.” Everywhere else, address me as your master Lucentio


LUCENTIO

Tranio, let’s go. One thing more rests, that thyself execute, to make

one among these wooers. If thou ask me why, sufficeth my

reasons are both good and weighty.

LUCENTIO

Tranio, let’s go. One last thing, and this is up to you. You’ll have to woo Bianca like the rest. Don’t ask why. Just trust me—I know what I’m doing.

Exeunt

They exit.

The presenters above speak

The presenters up in the balcony speak.

FIRST SERVANT

My lord, you nod. You do not mind the play.

FIRST SERVANT

(to SLY) My lord, you’re falling asleep. You’re not paying attention to the play.

SLY

205 Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely. Comes there

any more of it?

SLY

No, no. I am. Really. Very impressive. Is there any more, or is that it?

PAGE

My lord, ’tis but begun.

PAGE

(speaking as SLY's wife) My lord, we’ve only just got started.

SLY

'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady. Would

twere done.

SLY

And what an excellent piece of work it is, too, madam lady! I wish it were over.

They sit and mark

They sit and watch


Act 1, Scene 2


Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO



PETRUCHIO enters with his servant GRUMIO.


PETRUCHIO

Verona, for a while I take my leave,

To see my friends in Padua, but of all

My best belovèd and approvèd friend,

Hortensio. And I trow this is his house.

5 Here, sirrah Grumio. Knock, I say.

PETRUCHIO

Farewell, Verona! I’m off to visit my friends in Padua—particularly my best friend Hortensio. And I think this is his house. Here, you there, Grumio. Knock.

GRUMIO

Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man has

rebused your Worship?

GRUMIO

Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Has anyone offended your Worship?

PETRUCHIO

Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

PETRUCHIO

Moron! I’m telling you to make a fist and pound.

GRUMIO

Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock

you here, sir?

GRUMIO

Really, sir, I hardly think it would be appropriate for me to pound you.

PETRUCHIO

Villain, I say, knock me at this gate

10 And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.

PETRUCHIO

Moron, here we are at the gate. Now put your fists to work, or I’ll put mine to work on your head!

GRUMIO

My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,

And then I know after who comes by the worst.

GRUMIO

My master is being difficult. If I do as he asks I think I know which one of us will be sorrier—and it’s not going to be him!

PETRUCHIO

Will it not be?

Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it.

15 I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.

PETRUCHIO

What are you standing there for! If you won’t knock, I’ll ring—and you’ll be singing along in falsetto!

He wrings him by the ears

He grabs him by the ears.

GRUMIO

Help, mistress, help! My master is mad.

GRUMIO

(to the unseen mistress or master of the house) Help, mistress, help! My master has gone mad.


PETRUCHIO

Now knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.

PETRUCHIO

Next time maybe you’ll knock when I tell you, punk kid!

Enter HORTENSIO

HORTENSIO enters.

HORTENSIO

How now, what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio and my

good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?

HORTENSIO

Say, what’s the trouble? If it isn’t my old friend Grumio—and my dear friend Petruchio! How’s everyone in Verona?

PETRUCHIO

Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?

20 Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, have you come to break up the fight? Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, if I may say so.

HORTENSIO

Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio

Petruchio.—Rise, Grumio, rise. We will compound this quarrel.

HORTENSIO

Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio! Get up, Grumio. We’ll settle this quarrel.

GRUMIO

Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin. If this be not a

lawful case for me to leave his service—look you, sir:

25 he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it

fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught

I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out?

Whom, would to God, I had well knocked at first,

Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

GRUMIO

I don’t care what he told you in Latin. If this isn’t legal justification for me to leave his service, I don’t know what is. He tells me to knock him, pound him, and put my fists to work on him. Well, I ask you, was that any way for a servant to behave toward his master— especially when he’s clearly a bit crazy. I wish I had hit him. I think I’d feel a lot better.

PETRUCHIO

A senseless villain, good Hortensio.

I bade the rascal knock upon your gate

And could not get him for my heart to do it.

PETRUCHIO

He’s a worthless dog, Hortensio. I told him to knock at your gate and for the life of me could not get him to do it.

GRUMIO

Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain:

Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and

knock me soundly”? And come you now with “knocking at

the gate”?

GRUMIO

Knock at the gate? Oh, for Pete’s sake! Didn’t you clearly say “Knock,” “pound,” and “put your fists to work”? Now you say it was “Knock at the gate”?

PETRUCHIO

30 Sirrah, begone or talk not, I advise you.

PETRUCHIO

Grumio, either leave or shut up. I’m warning you.


HORTENSIO

Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio’s pledge.

Why, this' a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,

Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.

And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale

35 Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

HORTENSIO

Easy, Petruchio. I’ll vouch for Grumio. It’s terrible—you two fighting! Faithful, funny old Grumio! You guys go way back! Now, my dear friend, what lucky wind blows you in from Verona?

PETRUCHIO

Such wind as scatters young men through the world

To seek their fortunes farther than at home,

Where small experience grows. But in a few,

Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:

40 Antonio, my father, is deceased,

And I have thrust myself into this maze,

Happily to wive and thrive as best I may.

Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,

And so am come abroad to see the world.

PETRUCHIO

The wind that scatters young men throughout the world, encouraging them to seek their fortunes some place other than home, where there’s little to be found in the way of experience. But to be brief, Hortensio, the situation is that my father, Antonio, is dead, and I have set off into this crazy world to see if I can marry well and make a good life for myself. I have money in my purse and property at home, so I’m off to see the world.

HORTENSIO

45 Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee

And wish thee to a shrewd, ill-favored wife?

Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel;

And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,

And very rich. But thou'rt too much my friend,

50 And I’ll not wish thee to her.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, shall I be frank? I know where you can find a shrewish and unpleasant wife. I doubt you’d thank me in the end, but she’s rich, all right, very rich. But you’re too good a friend for me to wish her on you.

PETRUCHIO

Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we

Few words suffice. And therefore, if thou know

One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,

As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,

55 Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,

As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd

As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse,

She moves me not, or not removes at least

Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough

60 As are the swelling Adriatic seas.

I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;

If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, good friends like us can get by on a few words. If you can find a woman rich enough for me—because money is all I look for in a wife—let her be as ugly as Flotentius’s love, as old as the Sibyl, and as bad-tempered as Xanthippe. It wouldn’t matter one way or the other. I’ve come here in search of a rich wife. If I find a rich wife in Padua, I’ll have found a good wife in Padua.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is.

Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an

aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though

she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why,

nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) He’s certainly frank, isn’t he, sir? Give him enough money and he’ll be happy with a puppet, a paper doll, or a diseased old hag without a tooth in her head. If she’s got money, what does it matter?

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in,

65 I will continue that I broached in jest.

I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife

With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,

Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.

Her only fault, and that is faults enough,

70 Is that she is intolerable curst,

And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure

That, were my state far worser than it is,

I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, since the conversation’s gone this far, I may as well carry on with what I mentioned purely as a joke. I can help you find a wife who’s rich, young, beautiful, and reared in a manner fit for a gentlewoman. Her only flaw—and it’s a big one—is that she’s unbearable, a total witch, so much so that I wouldn’t think of marrying her myself, not even if I were in a worse fix than I am, not for a whole goldmine.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, peace. Thou know’st not gold’s effect.

75 Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough;

For I will board her, though she chide as loud

As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

PETRUCHIO

Hush, Hortensio. You don’t know what money can buy. Tell me her father’s name—that’s all I need. I will go after her even if her scolding is as deafening as thunder in an autumn rainstorm.

HORTENSIO

Her father is Baptista Minola,

An affable and courteous gentleman.

80 Her name is Katherina Minola,

Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.

HORTENSIO
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